It’s not all champagne and roses. Sometimes it’s a grind.
Notions and big ideas about duty and service were put to the test in the pressure cooker of real life.
The early part of this past week was a grind.
Honestly, I can’t even remember what went on last weekend, all I remember is that the early part of this past week was busy. Real busy.
Monday was Scouts, a new homework project for Finn, and church budget meeting prep for me.
Tuesday was the church budget meeting, always a long meeting and involves a lot of preparation. All that with a new job and a lingering sickness going around the family. Not exactly a Norman Rockwell-inspired schedule.
In the middle of all this, I find myself standing in a parking lot with my son, holding a stack of printed arrow signs and tape, trying to discuss how to efficiently create a trail to be followed around town by his scout troop.
All while wondering why the other two boys who were supposed to help didn’t show up at the appropriate time.
“Maybe we should wait for them.”
“Do you know they’re actually coming? Did they confirm with you? Did you check your email before we left for scouts?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Ok. So what do you think we should do? We can’t wait too long, the troop meeting needs to start at 7 and that’s in 40 minutes.”
“I don’t know.”
You see, Finn’s patrol is in charge of planning and preparing the program for the scout meetings for his troop this month. Since Finn is the patrol leader, Dad is also involved.
At that moment, we were supposed to be putting together a path for the troop to follow that didn’t involve a map or any kind of spoken or written directions. But we were waiting, and falling behind on time. As the sand of the hourglass in my mind fell, my blood pressure was rising.
“What do you want to do, bud? We need to get started.”
“The others should be here. Maybe we should start. Where do we start?”
“At the beginning.”
Eventually, after much back and forth (and some raised blood pressure on my part), we got moving and completed the course that the kids needed to follow. I was more than a little annoyed by this point at the inefficiency and why my son didn’t know intuitively exactly what needed to be done.
As the meeting started, and we were called to attention for the flag ceremony, it struck me hard.
The point of it all wasn’t the final product. It was the process. The point was the process and the lessons that the process teaches.
I even wrote it down in my pocket notebook.
Process > outcome.
The ends don’t justify the means. The means (the journey, the process) are everything.
I couldn’t see it because I was selfish. I was grumpy that I had gotten up early to print all the signs before work. I was grumpy that he hadn’t figured everything out ahead of time. I was selfishly thinking ahead about the work I needed to do still that night.
The point of scouts, and the point of having the boys plan the meetings is for them to LEARN how to do it. The process, good and bad, was the point. The experience, the success, the failures are all data points in the journey.
The process is a lesson that we must learn. Sometimes it’s hard, but we have to trust the process.
It reminded me of the saga of Joel Embiid, the Philadelphia 76ers, and the phrase “trust the process.”
You can read/hear more about the story of “Trust the Process”: Bleacher Report did it here, and Gimlet Media’s Reply All podcast covered it too.
TL;DR - the 76ers began a painful rebuild that involved selling off their “assets” (trading their star players for draft picks), and appearing to intentionally lose games to improve their draft position, eventually leading to the drafting of Embiid and subsequent success on the court (to greater or lesser extents, depending on your point of sporting view).
The general manager, Sam Hinkie, who developed the audacious plan, even lost his job before the project came to fruition.
We must trust the process, especially the pitfalls or failures. They teach more than the victories.
As I reconsider the events of the day, in the light of the process > outcome question, the picture changes.
Important steps were taken forward. Finn learned lessons about leadership, follow-through, planning, and team communication. And I got to be there, to be part of it. What a blessing.
I just needed to change my perspective to understand the blessing I was receiving. I needed to step out of myself.
Process > outcome.